Every Britney Spears Perfume RANKED

I am an expert in very few things; in fact, I’m perhaps most known for my extreme lack of knowledge. It’s embarrassing. I’m not someone you’d really want on your pub quiz team but that big beaming mess who, after a few pints, you’d begrudgingly turn to when the NAME-THAT-CELEBRITY or GUESS-THAT-TUNE round crops up. However, Britney Spears defies those bounds. Anyone who knows me well will know that I did not go through a mere Britney phase, I became as good as indoctrinated into a Britney denomination. Cut me open and I would have bled pure Britney, as crimson as the Oops!...I Did It Again catsuit.

At the turn of the decade, I realised that there are more artists who exist besides Britney (and dead old rock-stars). Despite overcoming personal hardship – and releasing her greatest album in the midst – her musical releases became more and more mediocre in a climate that was beginning to offer so much beyond saccharine, auto-tuned vocals set to bubble-gum, recurrent beats. One thing, aside from the classic bangers and iconic pink wigs, that I will unwaveringly carry with me from that time? Her perfumes.

Fragrances: glorified scented air that layers the wearer in a spritz that yells “I’m a cute girl!” or “I’m a fourteen year old guy who hasn’t discovered deodorant yet!” In any case, a fragrance can complement an outfit or aesthetic – tie it all together in a neat little bow. Smells linger in people’s heads, as well. Coty’s Vanilla Fields will never not remind me of my mother, who used to set me to sleep snuggled up amid her jumper doused in the bergamot essence. For me, it’s My Burberry and one particular Britney Spears scent (which, I hasten to mention, is absolutely, certainly, definitely not number one on this incredibly biased list). As Britney’s music has gotten worse, her fragrance releases have become ever-the-more frequent. What does that tell you? But, for real, there are so many. Like, this is not a joke. Never before have I written ‘curious’ and ‘fantasy’ in so many variants in such little time on one single page. Let’s jump into it:

25. Fantasy In Bloom:

Ah, yes. A scent that promises an eclectic mix of aromas including Cherry Blossom, Sandalwood, and Osmanthus, but smells more like a weak infusion of cotton-candy, lollipops, and bathroom soap. It’s saving grace? The rose pink bottle, adorned with simplistic floral silhouettes.

24. Radiance:

Radiance is not forgettable. But that is because it’s so acrid. I tried a sample when it first hit shelves and, whilst it certainly has staying power, it is overwhelmingly artificial. Imagine a cross between air freshener and a kid’s fruit roll-up. Got it? That’s Radiance.

23. Rocker Femme Fantasy:

Aesthetically, Rocker Femme Fantasy feels as though it should have been released in the mid-2000s. The bottle emulates the original Fantasy bottle but, as a flanker, deviates in that it employs a harsh ombre from hot pink to black; it would not look amiss in an Avril Lavigne video. There isn’t much pizzazz to it, considering that the name evokes edge and assertiveness. Instead, the fragrance is like Fantasy’s younger cousin: soft, synthetic, muted.

22. Cosmic Radiance:

This fragrance appeals to me more than its original incarnation because, unlike Radiance, the tuberose is balanced well. Cosmic Radiance emits a pear scent that is inoffensive and simple. It’s nothing to phone home about but it’s nothing to whinge about either.

21. Island Fantasy:

The bottle, embossed in rhinestones with swirls of green and blue, conjures an aquatic image. In practice, the scent is unspectacular and falls flat. Watermelon dominates and, as such, the perfume sits awkwardly as a flanker because it’s too weak to resemble the visceral sweetness that defines the Fantasy range.

20. Prerogative:

Britney’s first unisex fragrance, Prerogative is a mix between spiced and sweet. It is by no means overbearing but is, unarguably, a gourmand first-and-foremost. In fact, it is perhaps too weak and not dissimilar to Private Show.

19. Curious Heart:

Curious Heart is packaged in a gorgeous light pink bottle and exudes magnolia and lotus. It’s downside? It is the exact same as the original Curious, just repackaged. The power of marketing, eh?

18. Fantasy: Anniversary Edition:

Advertised as a celebration of the original fragrance, Fantasy: Anniversary Edition disappoints because it is a very blatant reformulation. It does not keep true to the white chocolate and cupcake scent that was marketed on initial release and is, instead, wood-like rather than gourmand.

17. Fantasy: The Nice Remix:

Oh, Britney. Perhaps the most banal concept and uninventive binaries in history, Naughty and Nice, were released as Fantasy flankers in February 2014. The Nice is designed to accentuate the original’s cupcake and jasmine notes and creates a pleasant accord…

16. Fantasy: The Naughty Remix:

…whilst the Naughty is designed to accentuate the original’s white chocolate and musk hints. The scent is decadent and sensual and does what it says on the tin.

15. Circus Fantasy:

This perfume strikes the balance between sweet (but not as syrupy as Fantasy In Bloom) and fruity. It is not harsh or shrill and, though it has little staying power, is also somewhat spiced which makes it wearable for anyone of any age.

14. Maui Fantasy:

You might wonder, at this stage, how one finds the time to traipse around aisles, shower themselves in a given odour, and swan around to see how many wandering gazes she might capture. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. Actually, I can say with reasonable certainty that I’ve probably smelt more of these fragrances than Britney herself has. Maui Fantasy infuses coconut, passion fruit and grapefruit to create the tropical summertime essence that Island Fantasy wishes it was.

13. Fantasy Intimate Edition:

A subtle and toned-down version of the original, Fantasy Intimate Edition resonates brown sugar and vanilla, tickling the senses in a far more gradual and mellow manner. The biggest complaint is that it is perhaps a little too weak; it’s staying power leaves a lot to be desired.

12. Fantasy: Stage Edition:

To those whom the original Fantasy’s pungent kiwi scent doesn’t appeal to, Fantasy: Stage Edition would be ideal. It is very similar to the original, except the kiwi notes are not nearly as loud and its drydown much resembles a vanilla dessert.

11. Sunset Fantasy:

This encapsulates summer: peaches, cream, raspberries, and apples. As a whole, it is warm and kittenish with a favourable longevity.

10. Curious:

Curious is a strong standalone aroma. It is lighter and, whilst it is a lot more floral than Fantasy, it is by no means overbearing or intrusive. If you have, for some reason, never owned a Spears scent in the past, this would be a crisp and elegant introduction.

9. Private Show:

Do not be alarmed by the deceptive bottle - Private Show is not glamorous or glimmering! Rather, it is cosy and warm, more so targeted towards winter nights than summer cocktail evenings. The most obvious notes are the dulce de leche and coffee and, whilst the longevity could be improved upon, this scent is addictive and its sillage outside is efficacious.

8. Rainbow Fantasy:

Rainbow Fantasy is a fresh and cheerful scent. The cloudberry and cotton-candy notes tend to envelop the water-lilies and the peonies but the all work harmoniously. It is a sweet perfume but not nauseatingly so; like Circus Fantasy without the muskiness, Rainbow Fantasy is feminine and demure.

7. Fantasy:

Fantasy is a powerful aroma: the entrancing blend of white chocolate, kiwi, and vanilla cupcake tantalises the senses and the staying power is immense. Too potent for some, perhaps, the scent is sweet and entirely unique.

6. Curious: In Control:

We’ll get the biggest weakness out of the way: it has little sillage and projection. I found that it clung to clothing more vigorously and smoothly than to skin but is, nonetheless, likely manufactured to be less detectable than its potent original. Curious: In Control is not weak or watery, though – more oriental than gourmand, the aroma is sophisticated and straddled the line between sweet and luxe to perfection.

5. Believe:

This standalone perfume ranks well because it is so different from the other fragrances in this list; the main notes include patchouli, guava and lime blossom. In addition, this perfume is not that sweet and not as fruit-infused (at least in an overt sense) as many other Spears fragrances are. The best descriptors would be clean and crisp. This sets Believe apart.

4. VIP Private Show:

VIP Private Show is most notable for its balanced aromas including raspberries, apples, and blood orange. All notes are melodious and work in conjunction with one another. The sillage is moderate whilst the fragrance itself lasts for a long time. A fabulous fragrance for springtime, VIP Private Show is a sure-fire blind-buy for your loved one!

3. Fantasy Twist:

Midnight Fantasy and Fantasy, Spears’ two most popular fragrance releases, are combined together to create Fantasy Twist. The draw is the bottle: it is a sphere that is divided into two factions which separate the fragrances. Nothing too remarkable but, nevertheless, an agreeable little novelty. I don’t include it at this stage to discredit the other original fragrances and distinguishable flankers, but believe that this dual fragrance is decent value and a perfect mode in which Spears’ more potent, more sweet, and most popular fragrances can be introduced to a newbie.

2. Hidden Fantasy:

A citrus scent with wooden and vanilla accords, Hidden Fantasy promises zest and seductiveness. It is not spiced or seasonal as the warm burgundy packaging might suggest, but Hidden Fantasy lives up to its name – ambiguous and inviting, yet lingers on the skin.

1. Midnight Fantasy:

I could prattle on about Midnight Fantasy until your ears fall off, and would have immense fun in doing so. A perfume that can last throughout the night and emits intense sillage, it features various deep aromas such as amber, sour cherries, iris, and plum. It is sweet with a drydown reminiscent of blackberries, making it deep and feminine yet sensual enough to wear in the evening.

Happy spritzing!